Mary Lee Harvey's "Important Key Key Key That Changes Perspective": A Beginner's Guide

This guide will walk you through understanding and applying what we'll refer to as "MLH's Perspective Shift" (based on the premise of Mary Lee Harvey's philosophy, although we will generalize it for broader applicability). This approach emphasizes a three-pronged strategy for re-framing situations and challenges to foster a more positive and empowered mindset. While the specifics of Mary Lee Harvey's teachings may vary, we'll focus on the core concept of identifying, analyzing, and shifting perspectives using three "keys": Understanding, Action, and Gratitude.

This guide aims to be beginner-friendly and actionable, providing you with the tools to implement this perspective shift in your own life.

Prerequisites:

  • Open Mind: A willingness to consider alternative viewpoints and challenge your existing assumptions.

  • Honesty: The ability to be honest with yourself about your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.

  • Patience: Perspective shifts take time and effort. Be patient with yourself and the process.

  • Journal/Notebook: A physical or digital space to record your thoughts, feelings, and progress.

    • Tools:

  • Pen/Pencil: For writing in your journal.

  • Quiet Space: A comfortable and distraction-free environment to reflect and process.

  • Optional: Meditation App: If you find mindfulness and meditation helpful, consider using an app like Headspace or Calm.

    • Numbered Steps:

    Step 1: Identifying the Challenge (The Situation):

    Before you can shift your perspective, you need to identify the specific situation, challenge, or problem that's causing you distress. Be specific and avoid generalizations.

  • Action: In your journal, write down the situation in detail. Include:

    • * What happened? Be factual and objective.
    * Who was involved?
    * When and where did it happen?
    * What are the specific aspects of the situation that are bothering you?

  • Example: "I didn't get the promotion I applied for. My colleague, John, got it instead. I feel disappointed and undervalued. This happened after the interview process last week, and the announcement was made today."

    • Step 2: Key #1 - Understanding: Analyzing the Situation:

    This key focuses on gaining a deeper understanding of the situation by exploring different perspectives and identifying underlying factors.

  • Action: Answer the following questions in your journal:

    • * Why did this happen? Consider multiple possibilities, even those you don't immediately agree with. What factors contributed to the outcome? Was it skill, experience, timing, company politics, or something else?
    * What are my assumptions about this situation? Are my assumptions valid? Am I making any unfair judgments? For instance, are you assuming John got the promotion due to favoritism?
    * What are other people's perspectives? How might the other people involved (e.g., John, your manager, HR) view this situation? Try to empathize with their viewpoints.
    * What is within my control, and what is outside of my control? This is crucial for focusing your energy effectively.

  • Example:

    • * Why did this happen? "Perhaps John had more relevant experience or performed better in the interview. Maybe there were internal factors I'm not aware of. Possibly, my presentation skills need improvement."
    * My assumptions: "I assumed I was the most qualified candidate. I assumed my hard work would automatically be recognized."
    * Other perspectives: "John might feel proud of his achievement. My manager might have had specific criteria they were looking for. HR might be following company policy."
    * Control: "I can control how I respond to this, my future performance, and my efforts to improve my skills. I cannot control the company's decision."

    Step 3: Key #2 - Action: Identifying Proactive Steps:

    This key focuses on taking proactive steps to address the situation and move forward. It's about empowerment and taking control of what you *can* control.

  • Action: Answer the following questions in your journal:

    • * What actions can I take to improve the situation or prevent it from happening again? Be specific and actionable.
    * What skills or knowledge do I need to develop?
    * Who can I ask for support or guidance?
    * What small, immediate steps can I take today?

  • Example:

    • * Actions: "Request feedback from my manager on my interview performance. Research ways to improve my presentation skills. Seek mentorship from a senior colleague. Update my resume and start networking."
    * Skills: "Improve presentation skills, interview skills, and potentially learn new software relevant to my role."
    * Support: "Talk to my mentor, seek feedback from my manager, and consider joining a professional development group."
    * Immediate steps: "Draft an email to my manager requesting feedback. Research presentation skills workshops online."

    Step 4: Key #3 - Gratitude: Finding the Silver Linings:

    This key focuses on cultivating gratitude, even in challenging situations. It's about shifting your focus from what you lack to what you have.

  • Action: Answer the following questions in your journal:

    • * What can I learn from this experience?
    * What am I grateful for in my life, despite this setback?
    * How can this experience make me stronger or more resilient?
    * Are there any positive aspects or opportunities that have emerged as a result of this situation?

  • Example:

    • * Learn: "I learned that I need to improve my presentation skills and seek more feedback. I also learned that hard work isn't always enough; strategic networking is important."
    * Grateful: "I'm grateful for my health, my supportive family, and my stable job. I'm grateful for the opportunity to learn and grow."
    * Stronger: "This experience will make me more resilient and determined to achieve my goals. It will also make me more proactive in my career development."
    * Positive: "This setback might push me to explore new career paths or develop new skills that I wouldn't have considered otherwise."

    Step 5: Integration and Reflection:

    After completing the previous steps, take some time to reflect on your findings.

  • Action:

    • * Review your journal entries.
    * Identify any recurring themes or patterns.
    * Create a plan of action based on your insights.
    * Regularly revisit your journal entries and adjust your plan as needed.

    Troubleshooting Tips:

  • Stuck on Understanding: If you're struggling to understand the situation, try talking to a trusted friend or mentor. They may be able to offer a fresh perspective.

  • Overwhelmed by Action: Break down your action steps into smaller, more manageable tasks. Focus on completing one small step each day.

  • Difficulty Finding Gratitude: If you're struggling to find gratitude, start with the basics. Focus on simple things like your health, your home, or your loved ones.

  • Negative Self-Talk: Be mindful of negative self-talk and challenge those thoughts. Replace negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Summary:

MLH's Perspective Shift, as we've generalized it, is a powerful tool for re-framing challenging situations and fostering a more positive and empowered mindset. By using the three keys – Understanding, Action, and Gratitude – you can gain a deeper understanding of your challenges, take proactive steps to address them, and cultivate gratitude for the positive aspects of your life. This process requires honesty, patience, and a willingness to challenge your existing assumptions. By consistently applying this framework, you can develop greater resilience, improve your problem-solving skills, and create a more fulfilling life. Remember, this is a journey, not a destination. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your progress along the way.